Mar 5, 2008
How To Handle BAD Harri's ?
It's total tormanet to be working alongside a director who acts cool and so serius around you. I feel as i i can't express mys self and often i am afraid to to even talk to him. The situation is just SO occured.
I am suppost to spent the next few day in the academy with him finishing the 20 meter cloth . I really don;t know how long i can stand him. Honestly!!!
The other funny thing is, all times when i say hi or bye to him, he seems like he is not interested or as if i am that un worthy to talk to and YES! i am really Piss Off by the crap attitude i am receiving from him. The vibe is just not there! Fuck ! i ahve tried my best on my side to communicate but, i can't seem to get into his skin,,,
It's a two way communication and if he don respond how do i aspect to be able to work with him! please la ! i hate it when people misunderstood me and thinks side ways off me! although i do the same myslef and i might be doing it now but i can feel that he is not interested to be a friend of mine!
Sad!!! he responds to everyone else, but why not me? when i ask a question, he never answers. i am FAD up la of YOU POPPES ASSHOLE ! after this project i don;t think i want to even talk to him ! MALAS la !
my patients with him is just hanging by a treat and any moment, it might just snap! and not to mention, he fuckin hang up on me on the phoen earlier ! what the fuck do you think i am! your dumb slave? i fuckin regrete being a part of his project and i do not , i repeat, I DO NOT feel it is worth of me to secrifice so much of my time for him but he don;t how any appreciation !
I mean, come on la, show me some credit can a anot bastard! i don;t fuckin wanna work with you actually but i am now stuck with you ! regrate seriously... MENYESAL man ! i am so angry that i think writting this damn blog won;t help me solve anything!
he smiles at other he talks to other he jokes with other and most of all, He responds to other but NOT ME ! Why because i am not cool ! fuck la u are so damn proud u dumb prick that i don't know how to respond to u la ! Ma Hai !!!
Who do you think u are ! i have PRIDE too !!! i don't deserve to be treated this way and don't sppreciate it at all !!! there are many cooler than you, they don't have a problem with me! So why do you !!!
Screw you !! bad H ... Bad H screw you !!! This will be the 1st and the last time i work with you ! mark my words ! first and the last, Bad H !!! and stilll i need to face him for the next 5 days ! crab !!!
i rather be stuck in LImbo than to be with him doing the cloth ! DAMN it !!! OOO god PLEASE, help me !!! i hate occured situations and please make these coming few days a little bit more barrable la !!! ok !!! i am praying to ya .. please !!! How the fuck do i get this H to loosen up !!!
Posted at 10:40 am by lunac
Mar 13, 2007
this week has been quite a struggle. It started last saturay night. Paranoid almost to the point of becoming insane, I picture myself stabbing me, as if it's the only way to get the hell out of this place.
It is like playing tricks to my mind. I want let loosen and relax a little but when i try, it just all goes back to restart, like a virus infested Desktop. And this happened again, today. Why can't be normal like the others i know. I look at friends around me and thought they might not have the paradise but it's the most comforting place to be and stressless.
It's strainning slowly. How do we re-act? It's difficult, i know, to help or not to help. But it's 10x more difficult for me. i really need guidance in this, but there is no one to turn to. No one. If this is out, it will turn sour...
If i end up in an assylum oneday, i'm not sure others know why ? but if someone figures out what the hell i'm writting here, he/she will have a clue to finding out why?
i guess, i'm writting a note that maybe useful in the future. It's not the most straight forward one but i'll let the gab holes be something like a test, of fate...
Posted at 09:15 pm by lunac
Nov 27, 2006
Sultry Green Eyes
The eyes beauty, desives a thousand men.
The look will poison a slow and steady death.
Sultry green, like a mystical forest.
It's bares all kinds of beautiful danger.
In that dress she wears,
the mark of a cunning sly to kill.
no one could get by,
her sultry green eyes.
Posted at 12:54 pm by lunac
Oct 17, 2006
Today, i suddenly came up with a brilliant idea... My country malaysia, people are not really into vintage stuff. But me and my sis, we love vintage, absolutely adore it is a form of art that is trap in out time. Lovely...
In europe countries, vintage earns it's seats next to labels like Velentino, Gucci, Channel, Prada, Versace, YSL, Mcqueen... etc or even better if it's a vintage CHANNEL... One can wear a vintage without a label to a VALENTINO show but still look absolutely posh, hip, cool, and would certainly catch the eyes of Vogue Editors and paparazzies...
Vintage is forever...
I went out with Shirly that day to a flie market in Chow KIt. It's kind of a creepy place if it's only 2 girls there and if you don't open your eyes enough you will just see it as a JUNK YARD for fashion... old jeans, warn down jacket and vest, t - shirts that STINKS... really bad...
But, as we got into it, we really discovered the place and found a few great bargain pieces and what else but VINTAGE babe... Of course, i'm no slim with 34 26 35 body, so as usual, i'm just helping out in the search and style and leaved Shirly with all the purchasing.
We spotted a couple of cool vest that looked just great on shirly, genuine leather that only cost us rm 20 wau... and 2 VINTAGE sweater for rm 10 each ... And yes, there are some pricy stuff there but i'm sure think it's worth the money.
I spotted a vintage 'Harley-Davidson' jacket, red in colour with The Statue of Liberty and Harley's logo up front... It was beutiful, beutiful piece but when i heared the price they gave i was shock. It was a wopping rm 200 to start with, after some bargaining i assume it would be around rm 130 or so...
But i still think it's worth it and i would have bought it if i earn alot and i could actually fit into it and find a place to wear it to... other than that, it would be a great piece to have...
So after that little shopping we did, i had an idea or starting a online vintage store selling nothing else but real vintage pieces and vintage looks... I thought of the concept and came up with a name :
- Vint - aid ( Vintage + Band-Aid ) = Why the name?
Vintage hasn't got a place
in Malaysia yet, so we are sort of giving
it the respect it should have.
Instead of seeing it as old clothes, think of
it as timeless pieces... ( i regrade those
old stuff my mom chuck off years back !)
Kind of like doctors trying to bring
a victim back to life... see where i'm going
- Logo in mind ( subject to change ) = A Gold Cross like the Red Cross Sign,
instead of red it is GOLD...
- Concept = Concept in mind for Vint - aid is base on medical and clinics.
The line has sort of a medical feel and sort of like a clinic...
- Colour Concepts = Earthy tones maybe or pale sort of vintage
- Packaging = Like the concept, packaging for the items would be in the form
of Medicine bags ( nylone bags ), Pill Bottles, Drug Boxes,
Sanatarian Medicine Vails, Amber Glass Bottles and
Containers, Syringe Filters, Cream Containers and etc...
( all other related items that is found suitable will be used )
- Items for sale = Clothes, shoes, jewelleries and accesories, items ( all
vintage and or items with Vinatage approach )
So basically, i have the starting point all sort out, all it's left is to look for partners to start this with. I have Shirly in mind, i don't know what she would think but i hope she would be into it... and of course, involving my sisiter would be great...
We will start it out small, just hunting for vintage pieces with a good bargain price, clean it and give it alittle Vint - aid magic and put it up for sell. If things go well, than maybe we will start designing our own t-shirts and than go with the packaging concept ... If it gets better, and we are succeful, go hunt for more vintage stuff and this time, overseas ( GREAT VINTAGE ITEMS OVER THE RAINBOW FOR SURE ).
But bare in mind, (note to self) this is just an experimental project and only a hobby that shouldn't be taken seriously !!! I do hope my friends would be all excited and would love what i am about to put out there... and ofcourse, BUY STUFF, IMPORTEND...
Well, wich me luck in the proposel to shirly later today... I do hope she is as saik as i am...
So you folks out there, do stay tune for the new blogspot i'll be setting up for our new line Vint - aid... ( if all goes according to plan that is )
Posted at 03:41 pm by lunac
Oct 16, 2006
Let's face it, there are about close to a million blogspots out there and who in the right mind would be interested to come read mine. and what are the odds of someone stumbling right into mine ?!?! It's a freakin ghost town.
I can't write straight and crack up good jokes but yeah, i'm trying... do i look that desperate ?!?! by the responce i'm getting, i think it's an A class for DESPERADO...
Hundreds and thousands of bloggers out there are writing every second of the day and they, like me also want people to read what they had to say. Why do we this, if we know that nobody would want to read this... why do we still write or express ourselves or act cool in this place???
The concept is like a diary or journal. The only difference is, we want people to read it...
Like a pill, we are addicted to blogging...
Posted at 03:44 am by lunac
Oct 13, 2006
Well, i'm back. Honestly, i don;t know hwat to write cos nothing interesting happen over the last few days. Well, i did somestuff, cook for my sis and ya wrote 2 versions of my latest shortfilm project which i am praying hard that i could get it done and shoot this december.
It's october and i haven't anything else ready except my short plot. Thank god i don have alot of dialog for my short. I'm planning to do a twisted sort of sick crazy story about a kid killing it gardiante. And the problem i am facing now is to go all out and be absolutely psycho with it or just go and do a smart version of it...
I'm confuse at what i want really... My heart really wants to have the sick twisted version but i really don;t know what peopole will think. The smarter version to me is, it's not that smart at all and it might seem more logical compared to the twisted one but i don;t have that much of a strong feeling for the so call smart version ...
Should i follow my guts cos honestly i don't know how people will take it... will they like it, will they find it interesting, will they say ok they can take it or will they think "what was she thinking or what the hell is that crap ?!?! " ... sigh...
Well, it's not like i will get any answers putting this issue here but i guess is the only place where i can express myself freely and i don have to care about what people think...
But if any readers or bloggers stumble by this blog, do leave me a commenet about this entry to help me out in this or just say hey...
Posted at 06:01 am by lunac
Oct 3, 2006
On 6th september, about a month ago, i turn 21. But i only realise how serious this is ,untill this morning, when i open my eyes, stared at the ceilling and thought to myslef, I'm 21, unemployed, over weight, bad skin + i don't take care of it like an average women should. I don even use facial wash sometimes. I suck at applying make up, no cloths my size for sale. never been kiss let alone being laid... lamnming...
can't even make up my mind on "WHAT TO EAT FOR LUNCH/ DINNER", has the tendency to think "CASH WILL FLOW IN EVERY MONTH" ( dad's giving me money, at 21 ) HOW USELESS AM I...
but i soon forgotten all of my morning thoughts and screw ups after an hour of ASTRO...
why am i like this? i need a reality check and someone slapping me on my face and reminding me that i'm 21 not 12 anymore and in one snap, i'll be 31...
Posted at 03:13 am by lunac
Sep 26, 2006
Wau.. it has been quite a while since i wrote my thoughts and lot has changed and happen in my life.
For a start, another season of rocksatr has ended and LUKAS won, the girl SUKI won the million riggit and YES, another designer labels gonna be out soon.
Although, it's all in "TV SHOWs" but people seems to be making money and moving on while i'm still sitting on my spot, infact moving backwards.
I got a job but i quit. 29/09 will be the last day i'll be working for that HELL. In my record, working there was one of THE WORST choices that i have made in this 21 years on planet EARTH. by the way i turn 21 some 21 days ago.
alright, believe it or not, there was only 3 people working my current company ( including the 2 bosses, hahaha ) and the politic level is OFF THE SCALE, baby... it all started out really cool and exciting but on one fateful day, I DISCOVER that the 2 of my bosses were "spinning me around" for 3 weeks.
I found out they were HITCH a couple when i "TERwater" my boss's photo of her daughter, afraid of the out come of ruining her daughter's pic, i took out the photo and dried it only to discover the photo of the other boss hiding right behind her daughter's picture.
They told me they were not a couple and she is happily married, so alot went through my head at that point and i got a lot of IDEAS... affairs, potentially married, second wife, ex boyfriends...
but how can i be so stupid, it was written on their forehead all along and i was too dumb to NOT see it...
The bizzare thing was, i knew they were a couple but they didn;t know i know ( NO ONE EXCEPT THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS KNEW ABOUT THIS ) so they continue to LIE their lame truth and the more they try to make things unsuspicious, THE MORE I WANT TO LAUGH MY HEAD OFF fro their fooolish and childish games. WAuuuu...
They as a couple, is totaly fine with me, but if they wanna lie about their relationship, THAN just keep their mouth SHUT !!!
hey, trying so hard to make things seems normal is just so BONKERS to me, and THEY ALWAYS USED THIS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A CHEAP SLAVE LABOUR FOR RM 600 a month, LIKE YOURS TRULY... muaaaa...
I am so gald i am leaving that place. I wish i had started writing every single day of the pass 3 months i worked there, that way, i could tell the WORLD every single detail and all you bloggers out there would read about it and be apart of this DRAMA.
sometimes, i do wonder, " AM I IN THAT REALITY gotcha SHOW, 'OFFICE TEMPS"?, i do hope i was... because it seemes massy and weird to be real. I HATE POLITICS, espeacially this kind, a one of it kind i must say...
ok sleepy... i'm goin to bed real soon. Thanks for READING if there is any one out there reading, there is now about 10 million blogs or more out there... Maybe i'm the only one here in my freakin world but i don;t care.
HEy if there is anyone out there that came blogwalk into mine, do LEAVE me a comment or msg just to let me know there are other beings leaving in this world.
peace and cheers with a really tall glass of bussssss... SALUTE...
Posted at 10:11 am by lunac
Jul 18, 2006
Someone once told me, " man sees success too easily ". I thought ya, that is true and agree to that, assume i understood what was said.
But lately, i throughly understood what it really meant. To think i thought i understood, knodding my head ever so hard to the person that told it to me...
But When one really faces the depts of the earth, the core, One only truly understood what the substance of the phrase meant.
I realized no matter how much i knew that and even going all philosophy over people about it, unconciously , i am doing the same mistake.
It's really painful to look up and see people acheive something and me still lying at the depts. "Bring me to LIFE"
I still believe in my dreams but am i not trying hard enough ?
Posted at 02:01 am by lunac
Jul 11, 2006
What can i say, i have told my dad a gazzilian times to NOT give my numbers to all her bloody girlfriends and yet he still does. It really makes me un easy.
I hate it. I hate to have to speak to those people i want them to be out of my life. Don call me please... I hate them ... I HATE THEM ... Haizz... Just one call will keep my heart pumping for days . I just feel very angry that i will be the one to have to answer to them in future . I hope and Hope and hope i don have to do that . Please, spare me...
Posted at 08:49 am by lunac
welcome to my blog, i'll try to be as crazy and stupid as possible...